Breastfeeding Loses Weight?

Dear Sara,

I’m breastfeeding like a cow up here and can’t seem to decide whether it’s having any affect on my baby weight.  What do you know about this subject?  Moo?

Sincerely,

HooterHungry in Hakansaw

Dear Hooter Hungry,

Los Angeles is home to the famous Pump Station, what you might call the mecca of breastfeeding and all thing baby related.  Per my conversation with one of the women there, lactation experts recently met in Berkley, California to discuss (among other things) this exact same question.  Their findings were that no links can be conclusively established between breastfeeding and losing weight.  The studies seem to show that if you’re prone to losing weight (healthy diet, exercise, etc, etc), you’ll lose weight and if you’re not…sucks for you.  Put down the chocolate cake.

Keep up the breastfeeding though, just add in some walks and a bag of lettuce.  I’m sure you’ll see the weight-loss soon enough.  Moo!

 

950 and Michael Costello

There is an apartment for sale down the street from me.  Two bedrooms, 1.5 baths, hardwood floors, and a renovated kitchen.  The asking price?  $950,000!  No, I didn’t stutter or trip and fall and add a zero.   Somebody is seriously asking nine hundred and fifty thousand dollars for an apartment.

Nuts.

In other news and world reports, Michael Costello was voted off of Project Runway and will not be attending Fashion Week.  I can’t believe it, but I cried watching him get rejected.  He was my second favorite after Mondo and I strongly feel he deserved to go.  Michael should be really proud of himself and I can’t wait to see more of him.  I’d wear one of his dresses in a nanosecond and I hope he tells his family to get on board or shut up.  He’s a talented designer and I wish he had people supporting him and loving on him.  Michael was also the nicest contestant of this season and I am very sad the judges didn’t choose him to present.

Go Mondo!!

Hottest Men of Hollywood

Some may like muscles, some may like long ponytails blowing in the wind on the back of a thundering motorcycle on a long stretch of road in the south of Spain…

<ahem>

I on the other hand, prefer my eye candy goofy, bookish, and slightly off-center.  And so without further ado, here is your winter of 2010 Hottest Men of Hollywood list to keep you warm and giggling on those cold, blustery nights.  I call it the baker’s dozen (hot cross buns).

In no particular order…

1. Nathan Fillion
2. Mark Ruffalo
3. Colin Firth 
4. Matt Damon
5. Jemaine Clement
6. James McAvoy
7. Robert Pattinson (sorry, I couldn’t help myself)
8. Javier Bardem
9. Olivier Martinez
10. Viggo Mortensen
11. Chiwetel Ejiofor
12. Simon Baker
13. And last, but certainly not least, Ryan Reynolds

Waiting For Superman

Nothing like a movie about the demise of America’s education system to get the blood boiling.  From the director of An Inconvenient Truth comes Waiting For Superman, a documentary about the public school system and why it’s failing.  Harlem, Los Angeles, Palo Alto, the Bronx, and Washington D.C. are the backdrops for this scorched earth expose.

Guggenheim intruduces the ‘drop-out’ factory; schools where 60% of sudents don’t graduate.  Once a student is on the track from an elementary school that feeds into a drop-out factory, they’re doomed.  Most students enter with reading comprehension multiple grades levels below high school standards and math skills that are beyond poor. Meanwhile the USA continues to drop worldwide in both literacy and math scores.  Coincidence?  Hopefully even the dumbest moviegoer will make the connection.  And for those who said that poverty and poor education go hand in hand, Guggenheim offers the charter school.  Their successes tell a different tale, one where the above average testing scores speak for themselves.  Unfortunately, the spaces just aren’t there for all of the students who want to succeed.  Those who win an arbitrary lottery have a chance; those who don’t, don’t.  It’s that simple and sad.

From one red tape to another, the problems of the system seem to stem from the teachers union.  Why can’t bad teachers be fired? Because they have tenure and (according to Superman’s director, Guggenheim) vote after vote allows them to sit on their laurels waisting hundreds of thousands of dollars while budget cuts eliminate art, music, and basic endeavors to teach our children a competitive curriculum.

I highly recommend this movie even if you’re not a fan of An Inconvenient Truth.  Somewhere in between the nail-biting effects is the reality – our public school system sucks.

Sexual Education

When I’m not blogging or saving the world from alligators in the sewage drains, I spend a lot of my time with teenagers.  Not like I pick them up at movie theaters in a creepy, “I’m old, will you hang out with me?” kind of way.  I don’t troll Urban Outfitters or anything, I just…nevermind.  The point is, my finger’s on the pulse of metropolitan teens and the news ain’t good.   Last week I was told that condom-less sex for teenagers is back on the menu.  And that <gasp> HIV is something from ‘back then’ and has nothing to do with ‘today.’  It seems as if high schoolers, in Los Angeles at least, aren’t worried about safe sex.  The HIV is about as far from their minds as mortgage payments.

So, curious cat that I am, I Googled HIV on the rise and low and behold, the numbers are creeping up again.  For those of you who watch Project Runway, my favorite designer, Mondo has HIV and bravely came out about his 10 years positive status.  I pray that the kids watching the show get a clue.  HIV is real and its deadly and I can’t believe the lack of sexual education out there.  Which is why I’m writing this blog entry tonight…something needs to be done.  Today’s teens have a sense of complacency about a disease that changed the way my generation views sex.  Unfortunately, the fear of contracting HIV has dissipated thanks to a pill-popping generation who sees nothing out of the ordinary about catching something, seeing a doctor, and taking a pill.  Perhaps it’s the prevalent diagnosis of ADD and Adderall or just the way in general that doctors scribble through their prescription pads from one happy drug to the next, but kids are growing up on meds and HIV is just another orange bottle as far as they’re concerned.

From what I see on Google, it’s not just teens either.  The gay community has also slipped back into a stupor of blase ignorance.  I don’t know what’s in the water, but I’m drinking mine through a condom.  Listen up kids, cause here’s your news flash – HIV is the cause of AIDS and it will kill you.

 

 

Skinny Bitches

If you’ve ever seen the movie, Fried Green Tomatoes then you’ll know what I’m talking about.  Kathy Bates, an unhappy housewife, waits patiently for a parking spot in a crowded lot only to have it stolen right out in front of her by two twenty-something girls in a red Volkswagen.

Kathy Bates:  Excuse me. I was waiting for that space.

Skinny Bitch in the car:  Yeah? Tough!

Skinny Bitch #2 (also in the car):  Face it, lady, we’re younger and faster.

Kathy Bates:  Towanda!!! (she screams and then smashes into the Skinny Bitch’s car…6 times)

Skinny Bitch #2:  What are you doing? Are you crazy?

Kathy Bates:  Face it, girls. I’m older and I have more insurance.

Last night at hip hop class, that was me.  There were these two twenty-something girls who I just wanted to smash with my car.  Now I’m sure these two women are sweet as sweet can be, but as they danced around in their skintight aerobic wear with full makeup on, and perfectly flat ironed hair, I could barely stand it.  What happened to throwing on a pair of sweatpants and hitting the gym running?  Now women are prancing about like it’s cocktail hour?  Meanwhile the rest of us sweat like lumberjacks in our husband’s undershirts, our hair plastered to our ruddy red faces.  In my book, that’s how a workout is supposed to be.

The two young women giggled and flirted and bopped about the class.  Even when I was twenty, I don’t think I was like that.  And it’s not the skinny part that got me, because I’ve got a friend who is an athletic-wear model and she doesn’t annoy me at all.  She’s drop dead gorgeous with a stomach you could bounce a quarter off of…no, it was something else.  Something intangible that makes some people skinny bitches and some people just skinny.  Something that made the clawed beast inside me flex her muscles and snort fire.

So here’s a note to all you young ladies out there who are rubbing shoulders with women who don’t wear makeup to the gym, don’t avoid chocolate, and don’t have time to coordinate our Lululemon athletic wear.  Watch out for the tired-looking lady with her hair held up by chopsticks.  She bites.

Social Network -vs- The Town

As I drove past yet another billboard advertising Social Network, Rolling Stone magazine’s ‘Movie of the Year!’ I had to scratch my head.  Really?  Movie of the year?

Social Network is the story behind the rise and rise and rise of Mark Zuckerberg’s Facebook and its matriculation from a Harvard dorm room to an international addiction.  The Town on the other hand, is an action-packed thriller about Charlestown, the bank robbing capital of Boston.  I enjoyed both movies tremendously, but I think I might be the only person in America (besides Ben Affleck) who preferred The Town over Social Network.

There have been a lot of great movies made about notable people and many of them have been recognized for Academy award winning performances.  Ray Charles, Johnny Cash, and Julia Child come to mind to name a few.  So what makes Social Network all that much different?  That it’s contemporary?  That Mark Zuckerberg has been quoted as saying quite a lot of artistic liberty was taken to the story?  Or is it that 1 out of 14 people on the planet is a member of Facebook?

Perhaps it’s because I’m not a huge fan of Facebook, but The Town had me on the edge of my seat the entire time.  At one point I even took my blood pressure.  My heart was beating so fast I thought I was having a heart attack.  But why does just one of these great movies have to be “the best?”  Why can’t they be tied?  And that’s my review.  They’re both good movies so go get some sleep and see a double feature.  My only recommendation is to choose wisely as one of them will really keep you up for awhile.

Hip Hoppity Hoo

Past midnight here and I’ve just spent the last 40 minutes stuck on Facebook.  (Why Mark Zuckerberg, why?)  The reason?  My favorite hip hop instructor, O’dell has posted a bunch of music videos that he’s danced in.  Needless to say, I got sucked in.  From Missy Elliot to  Beyonce, O’dell has shaken his booty to some pretty rad music.  You can see it without being his ‘friend.’  Just type in Frank O’dell Howard and watch for yourself.  It’s hard to spot him, but once you do, he’s amazing.  I love dancing with him…well, he dances.  I just imitate him and try not to look  like I’m getting struck by lightening.

Sam asked me to go see Venice this weekend at the Kirk Douglas Theater.  It’s a hip hop musical that tackles war and terrorism in the not too distant future.  Reviews are positive.

And to top of the trifecta of hip hop happiness, Cee Lo Green has a song that I just can’t stop listening to.  I found it last spring, but it’s taken on a new level of meaningfulness as of late.  You can listen to it on YouTube (below) or SmokingSection.com.  Love the pregnant lady on the cover.  So hip hop fantastic.

Naming A Racehorse

Just another day in the life of a quasi-famous blogger.  I went online this morning to check my comments and what did I see but a rather intriguing request from Wood-Moore Manor in South Africa, a breeding farm for racehorses.  Now usually I just ignore the notes – I mean how many children can one woman father right?  But this note was different and so I responded.

Comment (as published on my Dear Stalkers page):

As registered thoroughbred racehorse breeders, we often look for names for our new foals. We were on the e-net today looking for a potential name for one of our foals, which is expected tonight. The mares name is Corn Syrup and your webpage is linked to a the word “Corn Syrup”. Perhaps you may have a fantastic name for a racehorse?  Wood-Moore Manor

See what I mean?  How could I resist?  So I pondered the question and wrote back the following:

Maple Syrup
Buttermilk
Boerboel
Starch
Little Fructose
Sugar Cane
Vermont
Honey Syrup
Light
Waffle
VT Fancy (it’s a kind of Vermont Maple Syrup)
Fast Drip
Honey

So if anyone out there has any other names that might be good for Corn Syrup’s foal, please write in.  I’ve requested a picture of the new baby so if they send me one, I’ll post it up.

To Intellectualize Or Not To Intellectualize

The other night I went to the movies and got a real surprise.  After the previews a snowy landscape filled the screen followed shortly thereafter by a lone silver wolf and then the bright crimson of a Kremlin Flag.  The hammer and sickle softly faded into a shot of some Russian solders in fur hats smoking cigarettes in the barren cold.  They began to converse and English subtitles filled the bottom of the screen.   Quickly I looked around in the dark…did the other movie goers look smart?  Were they dressed in black with berets?  Did anyone have a goatee or look like a beatnik poet?  Was there another blond or was I in the wrong movie theater?

And that’s when it dawned on me that I am not an “intellectual.”  Not one part of my being got excited about the prospect of watching some quasi-existential drama about tough times in the motherland.  And the more I thought about it the more the tics in the ‘Not Intellectual’ column started adding up.  I’m not one of those people who spout Shakespeare at whim nor have I ever recited Tennyson while rowing down some quiet, bucolic river.  I like Project Runway better than CSPAN and I’d rather read fiction than do the New York Times crossword puzzle.  I’ve always wanted to be constellation-savy, but the only cluster of stars I recognize is the big dipper.  I know the knee bone’s connected to the thigh bone, but I still can’t get my head wrapped around the functions of code in a double helix.  Harry Potter did not steal the Sorcerer’s Stone.

And you know what?  It’s okay.  Some of us are meant to wear tweed and some of us are meant to live in t-shirts with beer slogans.  I think my somewhere in between is acceptable.  I’m not watching that Russian movie, but I’m also not rushing out to see Jackass, the Movie.  So if you ever find yourself in a strange movie theater thinking, “How did I end up in this strange movie theater?” don’t panic.  The intellectuals won’t bite.  Just quietly mutter to yourself about a logarithm, Telemachus, and a vote on the hill while you clumsily grope your way up the aisle towards safety.