Monthly Archives: March 2011

The Animals in Japan’s Tsunami

Last weekend I saw The Adjustment Bureau (great movie by the way) and I wish right about now that someone up there would make an adjustment already.  In addition to the thousands of lives lost in Japan, the immense property damage, the radiation scare, and the over-all ‘this just sucks’ comes a new frontier of pain – the animals.  Captured on video, which I won’t share because it will just make you cry, man’s best friend has also suffered horribly from the events of last week.  Unfortunately, the dogs and cats and other pets affected by disasters such as these are often forgotten.

It’s not just that they need our attention, they need our help.  Here are a few ways you can do something:

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If Japan Blows…

If (god forbid) the nuclear reactors cannot be cooled in Japan, scientists claim that there will be fall-out in California.  The Jet Stream will carry the radiation over to the west coast in approximately 36 hours.  That said, get yourself some Potassium Iodide, which is said to combat radiation exposure when taken immediately.

Okay that’s it for now.  Except, say your prayers for all those people in Japan who have been hit by this epic tragedy.  My heart goes out to them.

Modern Survival Blog (nuclear west coast danger)

World News (Monday 3/13/11)

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The Search for Swimmy Swimwear

In a few short days, my son and I will begin a Water Tots class.  King William (my adoptive son, his mother is in the Congo) is now 7 months old and commando crawling from one hidden penny to the next.  If there’s something dangerous, something dirty, something that shouldn’t go anywhere near his mouth…that’s where you can find him.  So in an attempt to both distract him and cultivate his amphibian side, we’re learning to swim.  There poses one small problem however, I need swimwear.

In the days before William, I was wont to wear bikinis, monokinis, and other stringy things that kind of held it all together, but kind of didn’t as well.  Such is the nature of women’s swimwear, no?  But now I need something that is appropriate for swimming with children at the local pool.  Something that says, I am not a floozy, while still being fashionable, flattering, and sans Speedo brand.  I began this process by trying on my monokini (as seen here on supermodel, whateverhernameis and just so you know, I look about the same in mine), which is the most covering swimsuit I own.  While I do look good in my monokini, I don’t quite feel that it sends the right message.  I want Don, the swim instructor to pay attention to the children and not well, you know.

That decision settled, I got online and began searching for just the right swimsuit.  No, Yuck, Huh, and a skirt?  At my age?  I don’t think so.  The closest I’ve come to perfection is from a brand called Jets, which hails from Australia.  I love their old Hollywood glamor stuff and think I might just take the plunge and get one (or two) over the internet.  The more I look at it the more I feel like it says what I want to convey…I’m teaching my child how to swim, but I’m no dead fish.

See for yourself.

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Piglets

Yesterday a friend of mine sent me a video of a piglet and you’ll never guess what happened…that’s right, I want a piglet.  

I asked Kiki, our dog if she would like a piglet to play with and she said yes.  I asked our 7 month old adopted-son (his mother is either in Taiwan, Turkey or Timbuktu) if he would like a piglet for a friend.  His answer was to smack his lips, which I took for a uniquivical yes.  Then I showed my husband the piglet video and his response was to agree with me on the cuteness of the little bitty thing.  I inferred a yes from that as well and so it’s officially unanimous – we need a piglet!

I went onto YouTube to try to find the video, but the only thing I could find was this, which is close, but with weird music: 

Here’s a segment with some details on the micro-pig from a British show that I swear is hosted by Bridget Jones.  No seriously, the episode starts off with a grunt from the woman as she almost falls over and each thing she says is more banal than the last.  

The point is however, that as soon as I get my baby tiger, my baby gorilla, my baby polar bear, and my baby elephant, I’m totally getting a miniature piglet.  

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RE: Your invoice from Viagra is ready

It’s been awhile since I went in and checked my email and today, I had an email from myself.  There it was, my personal email address, notifying me that my order for a virility drug used to treat erectile dysfunction in men was ready for me to pick-up and use.  Good news indeed.

Below the email from myself, there was one from Unsecured Loan urging me to “Find an Unsecured Loan Today!”  Hmmm.  That doesn’t sound too safe.  An unsecured loan?  Isn’t that what’s gotten so many people kicked out of their homes?  I think I’ll skip that offer.

But what about the next email.  The sender read simply, ‘Wigs.’  The subject line, “Order a natural looking wig now.”  I liked it.  Simple, to the point, clear and specific.  I’ll think I’ll save this one in my ‘Bad Hair Day’ folder.  You never know when a natural looking wig might come in handy.

I read on through security offers, ultrasound technician training, and one from Gambari Jubril offering to change my life (I’m guessing not for the better) when I came across the final and most intriguing email of them all.  The email was from ’45 Plus Singles’ and it read, “Meet Singles 50 Plus.”  Meet singles 50 plus…did that mean meet single people over 50 years old?  Or did it mean meet more than 45 singles (as the sender promised) and in this case, maybe even more than 50.  If it’s the first offer, I’m going to have to pass.  Meeting single people in their 50’s, 60’s, and 70’s just doesn’t seem that much fun to me.  In their 80’s maybe I would consider, but my guess is that those folks don’t hit the singles clubs as much as they used to.  If it’s the second offer on the other hand, to meet over 45 singles and in this case over 50 singles, then that’s a good offer.  That many single people in one room seems like a good ratio.  A win-win ratio especially if you’ve got a full order of Viagra in your pocket.  I’m going to ask my husband what he thinks about this one.  Maybe I’ll even purchase one of those natural-looking wigs if he says yes.

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