I Am Pregnant…Still

I cannot see my toes,

I cannot see my knees.

I can’t stop eating chocolate,

I can’t stop eating cheese.

I wobble through my hood,

racing with the ants.

My stomach leads the way,

high above my pants.

Strangers stop to tell me,

how remarkable I am.

My sheer, impressive size

is like the Hoover Dam.

I try to be okay with

this boy who wants to stay,

deep inside my stomach

until next New Year’s Day.

So what if I can’t wear

a normal pair of shoes?

Or if I’d trade my husband

for a tiny sip of booze?

Elastic is my friend,

and lycra is the key,

to living with a baby

the size of Tennessee.

Someday I’ll be the old me,

slim and trim and fun.

In the meantime I’ll keep waddling

’til this oven’s bun is done.