Tag Archives: observers

Stuck on the Sidelines

My 2 year old takes swim lessons.  They’re 15 minutes long with a private instructor and I sit by the side and watch.  I sit by the side and watch.  When did I get old enough to sit by the side and watch someone take swim lessons?  I still remember my own mother coming to my soccer or lacrosse games.  I played.  She watched.  Rooting with the other parents – the other old parents.  Observers rather than participators.  In my youth, it never occurred to me that I would ever be relegated to the sidelines.  I see now how young my mother was and wonder if, watching me, she felt the same.

It struck me yesterday as I observed my own child, I’m not ready to be benched for good.  I don’t feel as old as the woman wearing my skin.  But what can I do?  It’s not my turn anymore.  It’s their turn to play and win and fall and learn.  And it’s my job to sit there and watch as they do it.

I don’t want to grow old.

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