Don’t Count Your Chickens…otherwise known as life with a newborn

Oh. God. I am soooo tired.

Despite having spent the entire day indoors, I am no better for the “rest.”  I need to get out and run, dance, skip to my loo my darling.  Sadly, I have no idea how I’m going to manage any of those things when I’m still in my pajamas at 5:45pm on a Thursday.  I know, I know…patience.  But this newborn stage is exhausting.  He doesn’t like to be swaddled, wrapped, worn, pacified (with a pacifier) or any other form of “emulating the womb” that most babies like.  Nope, my child likes to eat and then sleep in my bed curled up next to me.  It’s a phase right?  It’s gotta be a phase.

Thankfully, I have just finished my first installment of the salacious Fifty Shades of Grey and it was everything I hoped it to be.  In fact, I can’t wait to get my hands on book 2 and 3 to see how this torrid romance ends up.  Nothing like distracting oneself from nursing a baby 24/7 like a little BDSM.  See?  I’m even dropping the lingo.  Although I must say, it feels wrong to be feeding a baby and reading erotica at the same time.  Oh well.  If you don’t tell, I won’t.

And speaking of lingo, there’s a new phrase out there – throwing shade – as in making disparaging remarks, showing disrespect, and giving insult.  If I “throw shade” at you, it means I speak ill of you.  I’ve looked it up online and can’t find a reliable source as to where it comes from, but I like it.  Seems that while I’ve been cocooned in my bubble, new terminology is popping up left and right.

That’s all for now except that our household now has 5 strollers for 2 children.  5 strollers.  2 carseats.  1 highchair.  And 0 Hermes bags.  When did this happen to me?

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2 Comments

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2 responses to “Don’t Count Your Chickens…otherwise known as life with a newborn

  1. harry

    For a second I thought you said that your house had 0 herpes bags. Then I thought to myself, that would be a good thing.

  2. Francesca Orsi

    If you’re reading FIFTY SHADES OF GREY then I don’t feel nearly as bad for you. You MUST be getting laid. Every woman I know reading it is having sex with their husbands twice nightly….

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