What does one do when stuck in an interminable week, waiting, waiting, waiting for baby? I’d like to say take up Taekwondo or that cool Krav Maga thing that looks like it could really help you kick some ass. In my mind, my answer would be that I now knit, I’ve learned calligraphy, and that I spent Tuesday making creme brulee from scratch for the homeless. I had a spa day…I read everything I’ve never read, but always wanted to…I organized my closet…and I took long walks on the beach with my husband.
None of these are true.
When one is treading water, counting minutes (while pretending not to), and stuck in limbo (truly the first circle of hell) while simultaneously the size of a (choose one)
- weather balloon
- giant octopus
- gorilla-like Godzilla
it’s difficult to motivate. It’s hard to kick ass Krav Maga style when someone has to help you tie your shoes because you can’t reach your feet anymore. Reading? Maybe if I didn’t have a toddler to waddle after all day. And forget heading to the spa – I’d never be able to get up on the table.
When you’re waiting for baby (next week will be 42 weeks of being pregnant – 42 weeks!!!) and you’re not Gisele Bundchen, being pregnant is not glamorous. I want a mulligan.
I want a do-over.
I want one week of knitting socks while practicing Taekwondo as I organize my closet after a walk on the beach with my husband and a morning of baking creme brulee.