True Accident Report – you can’t make this stuff up

The following is an except from a police report.  The names have been changed to protect the idiots the guilty.

Thursday December 15, 2011

I was driving from Jeppi Nut Candy Company in Timonium, MD to M&T Bank Stadium.

10:38 a.m. I exited I-83 South onto Route 1/North Ave./Mount Royal Ave.  I was three cars from the light when I heard and felt a loud Boom.  I looked in the rear view mirror and noticed the driver of a White Saturn had rear ended me.  I exited the vehicle.  He exited the vehicle.  He looked at my bumper and said that there was no damage and he was ok.  I stated that we were going to exchange information regardless. 

He entered his car and presented me with his owner’s manual and car registration.  I looked at the registration and asked for his insurance card.  He reentered his car.  I wrote down his license plate number then walked to the back of his car to make sure the license plate numbers matched.  He exited his car and approached me stating that he didn’t have an insurance card but he did have insurance.  I asked for his driver’s license.  I wrote down his name, Tyler Xxxxxxxxx, his date of birth, 09/03/1993, and his driver’s license number, X-xxx-xxx-xxx-xxx. While copying his driver’s license information I asked him what had happened, if he had been texting while driving.  He stated he was looking down at his lap when our vehicles struck.   I asked him for his cell phone number.  He stated it twice, each time giving me a different last four digits.  He looked at my notes and told me the number I had was correct, 443-xxx-xxxx.  I gave him a piece of loose leaf paper that said, “Theodore Xxxx, 410-xxx-xxxx.”

At this point we were standing between the two vehicles about two feet apart from one other.  He then began to cry hysterically.  Tears ran down his cheeks.

“I don’t know what to do.”  He sobbed. “This has never happened to me before. I will give you whatever you want.”  

At this point he started to lean in his head as if to lay it on my shoulder for a hug

I quickly put my left hand on his right shoulder and shook his right hand with my right hand to put space between us.  After a few seconds of telling him to take a deep breath and that everything was going to be ok I terminated the physical contact.  The last thing he said to me as we both entered our cars was, “My mom just gave me this car.”  He was still crying at this point.

(Note to my readers…keep going, this story is just getting good!)
 

At the bottom of the ramp I made a right onto North Ave.  After going a short distance I looked in my rear view mirror and noticed that Tyler was directly behind me.  Through a series of maneuvers. I determined that Tyler was in fact, following me.  He was driving behind me very closely and holding his cell phone with his right hand in front of his face talking.  I proceeded through a few lights until I was finally forced to come to a stop at the intersection of North Ave. and Madison.  I was the first car at light.

I watched in my rear view mirror as Tyler’s car approached.  

He appeared to be slowing down. 

His head was looking down at his lap. 

Boom he struck my vehicle from behind for the second time.  It was 10:50 a.m. – 12 minutes after the first accident.

This time the force and noise was more pronounced than the first collision on the I-83 exit ramp.  I picked up my phone and dialed 911.  I exited the vehicle and approached his car.  Tyler rolled his window down and asked if I was calling the police.  I said, “Yes, I am calling the police.”  He exited his vehicle.  He immediately became frantic. 

“It was the breaks, this time it was the breaks!” he told me.  “Look my car is damaged too.”  He became hysterical again.  He was screaming, “I don’t know what is going on right now!”  

He seemed extremely unstable.  I asked him to turn his car off.  Tyler looked at me and said, “I have to get to class.”

He took a few steps towards the door of his vehicle and I followed him.  He then jumped into his car and immediately put it in reverse.  I began to chase him.  Tyler made a sharp right and a sharp left to maneuver around my car.  I kicked his driver’s door with my right foot as I yelled for him to stop.  In response, he proceeded through the light, continuing down North Ave.

I did not get through to a 911 operator until my second or third try.  This was after Tyler had left the scene.  I stated I had been involved in a hit and run accident on North Ave. at Druid Hill Ave.  I called back a few minutes later to tell the operator I was closer to McCulloh St.  Officer Dyer arrived within a few minutes.

While I was waiting on police response I received a phone call from 443-xxx-xxx.  It was 10:58 a.m.  This was the number Tyler had given me at the information exchange at the first collision.  I answered and said, “Hello, Tyler, you need to turn around and come back to North Ave.” 

He repeated a number of phrases including, “Hello, Who is this? No this isn’t Tyler, I don’t know what you are talking about.”  I then asked him, “Is this Tyler?  Did you just rear end me on North Ave.?”  He stated again, “I don’t know who this is or what you are talking about.” 

I hung up the phone.  He called again at 11:01 a.m.  I did not answer .  He left a voicemail on my phone.  “Umm if you could give me a call, this is uhh.. the.. Tyler Mmmxxxxxx.  I would really like to understand what is going on.  Cause you just hung up real abruptly.  So just give me a call back.”

Officer Dyer arrived shortly after this.  I was able to positively identify Tyler Xxxxxxxxx as the driver of the White, Four Dour, Saturn.  I also soon found out that Tyler’s father and brother are both known criminals and that his mother was (at that very moment) filing a restraining order against him. 

Damage to my vehicle is minimum, but necessary.

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