21 Months

It happened again.  This weekend I met a woman who saw my adorable son, King William.

“Oh!  How old is he?”  she cooed.

“About a year.”  I answered with a smile.

“That’s a precious age.  My son is 21 months.”

Quickly I did the math.  12 months x’s 2 years is 24 months minus 21 months = 3 months so…  “About a year and a half then?”  I asked trying not to let the irritation show in my voice.  What is it with people and counting by months?

Ever since I can remember people have been throwing months at me in regards to their children.  17 months, 31 months, 25 months.  It’s ridiculous.  I’ve even had a woman tell me her child was 383 days old once.  What’s next?  Counting by moon cycles?  Listen up you crazy parents.  When your child is less than a year, it makes sense to count by months.  4 months, 8 months, 11 months – say it as much as you want because it’s special.  Your baby is so young he or she hasn’t even been alive 1 whole year and so you mark each month with pride and excitement.  But then the year mark comes and guess what?  It’s time to start rounding.  Less than a year and a half?  Go with “Around a year.”  Over a year and a half?  Go high or go low, your call, but no counting by months.  It’s either “About a year a half.” or “Almost two.”  Seriously.  No more of this 21 months nonsense.

And the next person to tell me his/her child’s age in days is going to get it.  Unless of course the child really is only like 3 days old in which case, go for it.  But if your kid is 40, I don’t want hear 480 months or some such absurdity.  Which reminds me of this interesting/unusual fetish: adult baby syndrome, otherwise known as paraphilic infantilism or autonepiophilia:

Stanley the Adult Baby

 


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