It happened again. This weekend I met a woman who saw my adorable son, King William.
“Oh! How old is he?” she cooed.
“About a year.” I answered with a smile.
“That’s a precious age. My son is 21 months.”
Quickly I did the math. 12 months x’s 2 years is 24 months minus 21 months = 3 months so… “About a year and a half then?” I asked trying not to let the irritation show in my voice. What is it with people and counting by months?
Ever since I can remember people have been throwing months at me in regards to their children. 17 months, 31 months, 25 months. It’s ridiculous. I’ve even had a woman tell me her child was 383 days old once. What’s next? Counting by moon cycles? Listen up you crazy parents. When your child is less than a year, it makes sense to count by months. 4 months, 8 months, 11 months – say it as much as you want because it’s special. Your baby is so young he or she hasn’t even been alive 1 whole year and so you mark each month with pride and excitement. But then the year mark comes and guess what? It’s time to start rounding. Less than a year and a half? Go with “Around a year.” Over a year and a half? Go high or go low, your call, but no counting by months. It’s either “About a year a half.” or “Almost two.” Seriously. No more of this 21 months nonsense.
And the next person to tell me his/her child’s age in days is going to get it. Unless of course the child really is only like 3 days old in which case, go for it. But if your kid is 40, I don’t want hear 480 months or some such absurdity. Which reminds me of this interesting/unusual fetish: adult baby syndrome, otherwise known as paraphilic infantilism or autonepiophilia: