While some may start their week by reading about the bombing in Moscow or the scores of the big playoff games, I caught up on some real news. Like the fact that in Miami, some coke-heads snorted up the ashes of a man and his two dead dogs. Why? Because they thought the remains they had burgled were either coke or heroin. Makes sense. If I had a huge stash of drugs, I too would it keep it displayed on my mantlepiece in a pair of urns. One urn for daddy/the cocaine. One urn for his two Great Danes/the heroin.
In Los Angeles, a German man has been arrested for selling live tarantulas through the mail. And not just like one or two, but hundreds and hundreds per package. He got busted when the feds opened a box filled with some 300 hairy spiders crawling around. Man oh man am I happy I didn’t get that delivery.
And last, but certainly not least, a monk in Athens was caught traveling with a skeleton in his carry-on. The skeleton turned out to be a nun and I don’t even want to know the rest of the story. Just the idea of someone traveling around with a bag full of bones gives me the heebie jeebies. I totally think I’ve sat next to this monk…and I don’t think this is the first time he’s traveled with a dead nun in his bag. There was a smell you know?
So have a great week and don’t forget to count yourself lucky. With criminals like these three, nobody’s safe. Not even your dead dog.