My dear friend, The Giant Pudgy Panda finally had her baby and I was there to witness the entire event. 87 hours, 2 ice pops, and a room with a view later…and The Pudgy Panda revealed the most glorious creature I have ever set my eyes on. I won’t lie, being a spectator at a birth is like picking crabs on the Chesapeake – you gotta get your hands dirty. Picture National Geographic meets Jacque Cousteau. You must go where no man has gone before.
So I strapped on a headlamp, rolled up my sleeves, and exchanged my Ferragamo’s for a pair of Nike’s. It was Baby Time! The thing no one tells you however, is that birth isn’t like how they make it out to be in the movies. I’d seen Knocked Up, I knew what I was getting myself into. And then I didn’t. The Panda turned on her iPod and got in the zone. She had a midwife, a fantastic nurse named Wendy, her husband, and me…and then she had a baby. All of us walked away shaken not stirred.
And now for the past two weeks I’ve been at The Panda’s pudgy side helping her get acclimated to life as a mom. No sleep, dirty diapers, no sleep, and a truck-load of questions and worries and fears. I keep telling her that if a woman in the Amazon can do this mother thing with giant anacondas, hungry jaguars, and disease ridden mosquitoes swarming everywhere, then she can do it too. I’ve been told my comments aren’t appreciated and that until I have a diaper explode down my leg while nursing I should just keep my mouth shut and go walk the dogs. I think the lack of sleep is making her grouchy. I will say though that in my opinion, it’s all worth it. That teeny-tiny Baby Panda is one cute little sucker.