Having A Baby

This morning at 4:38 my phone rang.  It took me a moment in my sleep to connect the noise with what was happening.  Eventually I fumbled in the dark for my phone, which was somewhere on the bedside table.

“Hello?”  I said, slowly sitting up.

“I’m having a contraction!”

“Who is this?”

“It’s me, The Giant Panda!  I’m having a contraction.”

“Do you know what time it is?”  I asked her.

I heard something crash on the other end of the line.  “About 4:30am.”

“Yeah so why are you calling me?  I was sound asleep.”

“Well who else am I going to call?”

“I don’t know.  Wake up your husband or something.”

“I will right after I get off the phone with you.”  I sighed and reached over to turn on the lamp.  Blinking in the sudden, bright light I waited for whatever was going to come next.  “Are you still there?”  She asked.

“Unfortunately.  So you had a contraction and decided I needed to know.  How can you even tell it’s a real contraction and not one of those Badgley Mischka ones?”

“You mean Braxton-Hicks?  I guess it could be, but I don’t think so.”

“Is it painful?”

“Not as bad as the itching actually.  If this is all there is to it, I’m golden.”

“But I thought you decided you wanted the baby to come out on Monday so the birth date would be 08-09-10.”

“Yeah that would be cool too, but if this is it, this is it.”  The Panda sounded excited.

“I wouldn’t get too pumped up.  Knowing you and this pregnancy, I bet this contraction is just a false alarm.  Have you had another one?”


“See?  It was probably just a gas pain.  Let’s go back to sleep and pretend like this was all nothing but a horrible dream.”

“You’re a terrible friend.  You know that right?”

“Yes, that’s great.  So I’ll talk to you tomorrow and don’t forget, wake up your husband next time.”  I hung up and turned the light back off.  Damn Pandas.  I’d probably never get back to sleep.



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2 responses to “Having A Baby

  1. Mary

    8-8-10 is a luckier number than 8-9-10! but we’ll take whatever comes and it better be soon or you know she’ll be induced! my mom says the baby KNOWS when to come out and we should just leave he/she alone until it’s ready….

  2. Tommy

    Sending TONS of love and good vibes to the HUMONGOUS Panda…..

    But I’m with M and her Mom.
    8-9-10 would be a cool b-day though!

    So excited……..


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