I apologize for continuing to chronicle the adventures of my pregnant friend, The Giant Colossal Panda, but it’s like watching a science experiment combust. I’ve never seen anything like it before and since she insists that I do almost everything with her, I’ve got first hand seats to something better than Monster Truck Racing.
The Panda is about a year late at this point and starting to worry that the baby will never come out. Maybe some people just don’t give birth. Or maybe the little one will wait to make a debut until he/she can legally order a martini and take a trip to Fiji. Who knows what this kid is thinking? If I had known then what I know now, maybe I too would wait a few years before making an appearance. So while the Panda wraps her head around the possibility of being Colossal Ginormous forever, I did a little recognizance.
There have been no recorded cases of a woman being pregnant forever. However, on September 24th, 2009 a woman in Indonesia gave birth to a real chub – 19lbs 2 oz. Wonder how long they let that baby cook? According to the Guinness Book of World Records there was once a baby in Canada back in 1879 who sadly didn’t survive, but who came out at a whopping 23lbs 12 oz. And in Italy there was a child who squeezed out at 22lbs 8oz. The Italian baby was fine and dandy and reported to request a second serving of pasta pomodoro. Moral of the story, maybe The Giant Colossal Ginormous Panda is having a Giant Colossal Ginormous Panda baby.