If you’ve never seen a pregnant woman bust a move, trust me when I tell you that it is truly one of the wonders of the world. The Great Pyramid of Giza, the Great Wall of China, and a ginormous woman doing a body roll. See these things and you can die with a happy smile on your face.
Every Saturday my dear pregnant friend, The Giant Colossal Panda takes her belly to hip hop class. To watch it is to feel like a part of an after-school special or some strange public service announcement: Don’t get pregnant and think you can still hit the clubs. You can’t. It’s tacky.
The music pumps and lyrics fill the studio about drinking champagne and partying with the hoes. The class shimmies and shakes. Booties jiggle. Boobies sway. And The Giant Colossal Panda appears on stage like a what NOT to wear. You’re not allowed to have sexy dance fever when you’re pregnant…that’s what you got into this whole ‘pregnant’ thing in the first place! Giant Pandas are supposed to sit at home and wait for their Baby Pandas. Pick up knitting. Learn how to garden. But for goodness sakes, stop trying to shake your ass!
The Panda rebuffs all good taste however, and waddles to class week after week. Below is a video I captured with the help of a talented National Geographic team. Be warned, it is not for the faint of heart. (music has been altered due to problems with Flip Video – original song was shots, shots, shots song)