Doggy Camp for Canine Delinquents

Hank is gone and our home is so quiet and peaceful it seems as if something’s wrong.  Hank is a great dog and we love him with all of our hearts, but we can’t get him to stop trying to eat people.  Not all people, just strangers he doesn’t like, our neighbor from Sweden, the postman, and men who approach his mom too closely on a walk.  (Forget about it if you’re an odd, Swedish man who attempts to say ‘Hello’ to me – you’re dead.)  How this happened we have no idea.

One day we came home with a sweet, little puppy who looked like this: 

Time passed and Hank grew and grew and grew until one day we realized we had this:Who did things like this:

We go through 30lbs of dog food a month, several bags of chicken treats, two leashes, at least 3 pairs of shoes, and a partridge in a pair tree.  (Why those birds keep coming back to our yard I’ll never know.)  Besides yelling “Shut up, Hank!” at even intervals throughout the day, Hank is an angel and our lives are more full because of his large and exuberant presence.  But he’s exhausting and despite a run every morning and several walks throughout the day, the Tank never seems to tire.  He’s like 90lbs of pure working muscle.  If only we had a sled full of fat Eskimos for him to pull around.

So Hank went to camp.  For the next month he’s out at a place called the Blue Dog Ranch in Burbank with a man by the name of David Roe.  Hank will live with David at his home and relearn how to be a city dog.  City dogs can’t hunt, can’t kill, and can’t maim just for the fun of it.  City dogs have to learn how to calmly sit outside of a restaurant, to walk on busy streets, and to stop cornering Swedish people in their garages.  David has promised all of this and more.  We miss Hank and hope he’s okay, but we’re also very excited to meet the new and improved Hank.  Stay tuned and I’ll let you know how it goes.


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