World’s Richest Man Isn’t Bill Gates?

I know, I was surprised too…and it’s not Jimmy Buffet’s brother, Warren either.  Nope, it’s a Mexican guy who goes by the name Carlos Slim Helu.  The Carlos part sounds Mexican, the rest reminds me of a rapper or a snowboarding move. The Slim Helu – you jump into the air and do a skinny 360.  Actually though, Bill Gates (at 53 billion) is only a measly .5 billion away from Slim Shady aka Carlos.  And as it seems that most of these figures go off stock worth, who’s to say that by the time it gets counted next year, that.5 billion won’t have flip-flopped a few times.

Slim Helu made his billions by maneuvering back in the 60’s to privatize Mexican telefono sevicio.  Sounds about right.  Most of these guys make their gold by cutting out the competition.  Of course he’s branched out by now.  Mexico’s phone service is just small potatoes when compared to oh I don’t know, energy, newspapers,  phone service for all of Latin America.  I’m just throwing stuff out here.

Women billionaires aren’t even found on the list until down in the twenties when you hit on the Walmart ladies and the L’oreal heiress.  I’m not on the list yet as I keep my billions under the mattress, in the mattress, inside a fake hot tub we keep out in the back, in a hole under a broken down Ford on cinder blocks in the front yard, and behind a stack of student loans we’ve got piled in the garage.  But someday, when I get the time, I’m going to count it all and pose for a picture.  Cheese!

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