Avatar: Hazadarous To Your Health

On Saturday I finally saw Avatar.  I may have been one of the last sentient beings to do so, but I wanted to see it in 3D at an Imax theater and to do that, I had to wait.  First of all two tickets were $33.  $33!  As Sam said when he forked over his credit card, “that’s the most expensive movie ticket I’ve ever bought.”  We sat down, put on our glasses, and got comfortable…we were entering the world of Pandora.

The movie is wicked long, but I only really noticed it when I couldn’t believe I hadn’t had to get up to use the lady’s room.  The plot is simple, but engaging (David -vs- Goliath otherwise known as Pocahontas and her tribe -vs- the white man), and the graphics are out of this world.  Pun intended.  At one point in the movie, a giant 12 foot alien cradles her love interest, a less than 6 foot human man, and I thought it was real.  I had been so sucked in and the visuals were so astonishingly amazing, that I forgot that 12 foot aliens don’t exist and therefore can’t be hired as actors.  It was probably at the 2.5 hour mark that this happened and when I left the theater I had to laugh at myself.

Now let’s talk about the visuals.  This movie is meant to be seen in 3D and there are no two ways about it.  Every blade of grass, every flying pterodactyl, every glow in the dark vine – it’s all from someone’s imagination.  (see Wikipedia about inspirations and themes) And the way they filmed it in 3D is so vivid that you’ll gasp in delight as your imagination rides the roller coaster of hallucination-like, futuristic, eye candy.  However, you must sit back, waaayy back from the screen.  Sam and I like to sit center, center in the movie theater and we left with two of the biggest headaches this side of the milky way.  My friend, Parisa had the same complaint.  It’s just too much for our mere mortal eyes to process.  I see an epileptic fit and a lawsuit before this blockbuster is through.  Shauna, another friend, is going to run an experiment and sit in the very last row of the theater to see it.  She is to report back whether the headache plagues her or if sitting that far from the screen helps.

On a last note, the internet is filled with scathing critics who find Avatar to be racist and patronizing.  To those neigh sayers I roll my eyes.  Does everything have to be so damn meaningful and serious?  Can’t it just be a fun movie?

Avatar: I give it a tail and two cat eyes up, but beware of your health.  Sit in the back, bring a neck pillow for support, and don’t drink anything beforehand.  (but it’s worth it)

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