The Baby and the Crack

True story: on Friday the 13th, a toddler at a Minneapolis day care crackbaby_daycarecenter was found sucking on something.  Nothing unusual about a 13-month old, little boy putting a foreign object into his mouth, right?  Wrong.  When a staff member took the object out of the child’s mouth, she found a hard ball of crack cocaine.  The baby had found it on the floor and like babies do, stuck it in his mouth.

Luckily, the crack ball was wrapped in plastic and the seal did not break in the toddler’s mouth.  None the less, he was rushed to the hospital.  A thorough search was done of the premises, but no other stray crack balls were found.  One heroin triangle and a marijuana octagon were found in the play area, however.  Those were left undisturbed as no child had yet decided to suck on them.

The bigger problem at hand is, whose crack ball is it?  The staff members swear that it must be a parent’s and have begun drug testing everyone who works there.   If it is a parent’s, the picture is bleak.  Wake up, get dressed, grab your crack ball, drop of the baby at daycare, do your crack ball, go to work, pick up the baby, buy another crack ball on your way home, make dinner, and then do some more crack.

Maybe drugs should be legalized.  That way, the people who are going into the pharmacies to buy their crack can be given some birth control as well.  A ball of crack, a ball of sperm killer.  A shot of smack, a shot of no-baby-for-you.  A bag of pills, a bag of can’t-get-pregnant.  This seems like a no-brainer.



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2 responses to “The Baby and the Crack

  1. Harry

    I was looking at pictures from the wedding. Hank was really being a good boy. Kiki is always a good girl. And you two were great hosts and beautiful people. Congratulations again!

  2. Harry

    the above reply has nothing to do with this blog post.

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