Last night I went out for dessert to celebrate my friend, Parisa’s birthday. Studiously avoiding the french pastries, I talked to another woman there about men. I won’t go into too many details, but a ex-beau of hers is getting married to a women he barely knows. It’s the age-old question posed in When Harry Met Sally, why her and not me? What’s important to remember however, is that the guy may be great for her (but don’t worry, he’s not; they’re totally getting divorced in less than a year), but he’s a train wreck for you. Remember? You dated him? You hated him? Same guy.
After a break-up one of the most common thoughts is that we warmed them up for the next girl. We were the ones who taught them the painful lesson that denim on denim was not a good look for men. We were the ones who spent three weeks showing them that french kissing did not mean humming the french anthem beforehand “to get us in the mood.” And we were the ones who cried and cried and put everything we had into trying to communicate with an absolute blockhead. For what? To do all that work, but never get to reap the benefits? Not true. An ex of mine is divorced or getting divorced from the woman he married after me. His 12-piece set of luggage (veritably spilling over with issues) may have been stuffed in the closet or hidden under the bed for a while thanks to me, but at the end of the day, the same reasons I couldn’t be with him are probably the same reasons she left him too.
So this morning when I woke up there was an email from the woman I spoke to last night about the ex-dilemma. She had sent me an entry from a blog that seemed very apropos. The author of this site, Daily F***ing Thought, is hysterical and as one who is always ready to give props to the funny, I had to share it. So here it is in all it’s glory:
September 16, 2009
Choosing a Partner
You shouldn’t marry someone until you see him with the stomach flu or how he reacts to a flat tire. It’s also important to thoroughly check out his medicine cabinet — Percocet indicates a fun personality, while Benadryl and Zantac are a sign of weakness or a possible genetic defect that you want help weed out of the gene pool.
Of course, these rules are suspended if he has access to a private jet or if you can’t afford to be picky.