Stimulus Check for Murder

The United States government, well-oiled machine that it is, sent 3,900 $250 checks to inmates in prison.  As the checks were intended to “stimulate” the economy, I can only assume that this was an error.  As far as I know, the rules to allow prisoners out of jail to go shopping still hasn’t changed.

The math for this snafu adds up to $975,000; more than most families make in almost 20 years according to the US Census Bureau.

So I have to look on the bright side – I’m sure not all of prisoners are rapists, murderers, drug-dealers, gang-bangers or armed robbers.  Probably a few of those checks went to petty criminals.  Sweet, gentle men who’ve been incarcerated in a state penitentiary for something minor like…like…well, I’m having a hard time coming up with anything.  It’s not like you go to prison for flashing someone.  That’s just a day in the clink.

I never got a check, probably because I haven’t molested anyone or organzined a credit card scam from my basement.  But I’m thinking about it.  $250 is a lot of money for buying whatever you buy in the big house.

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