Cash in the Freezer, Baby

Rep. William J. Jefferson (D-La.) just got sentenced and faces up to 150 years in the big house.  Why?  Because he got busted with a freezer full of money, taking bribes, and hustling kickbacks.  The best part is that he denies it, even though he was filmed accepting $100,000 by an investor the FBI had turned.  Then, when they raided his house $90,000 of it turned up wrapped in aluminum foil in the freezer.  It was cleverly hidden in Boca Burger boxes (how original).  All I’ve got in aluminum foil in my freezer is an old ham-bone for Hank, but I deny that too.  Somebody else planted that bone, dammit!

Jefferson, from the good state of Loueesiana, is as crooked as a coat hangar.  For over a year the FBI watched anddirty politican documented as he did one bad dead after another, much of it focused on Africa and the race for American control in the telecommunications field.  A Jefferson aide as well as the owner of iGate Inc. were also busted.  Naughty.  One of the African honchos that Jefferson got recorded bribing was Nigerian Vice President Atiku Abubakar ($500,000).  And on August 6th, a 12 person jury convicted Jefferson of “11 of 16 counts that included solicitation of bribery, racketeering and money laundering.”

So why do so many politicians use their power for evil?  Because they see so many other politicians getting away with it.  More importantly, why am I droning on about a case that first hit the news stands back in 2005?  I’ll tell you why; because Sam told me yesterday that the Chief of Police for Los Angeles has resigned in order to accept a position in the private sector.  Therefore, I’d like to take this opportunity to announce my candidacy for Chief of Police.  I’m throwing my hat into the ring!  And why not, I’m 100% more honest than Jefferson (not to mention intelligent – a Boca Burger box?  That’s your best hiding place?) and he was a Congressman.  I can totally handle being a Police Chief.  Just give me a gun and I’ll prove it to you.

Sara Morris:

I don’t eat sheep, but I can catch a creep and make him weep (even in my sleep), but I don’t come cheap so dig deep.

Chief of Police 2009,

Vote For Me!

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