Vampire Skeleton Found in Venice

Yes!  I have been waiting and waiting for this.  Near Venice the remains of a woman (vampire) has been found, which scientists believe to be from the 16th century.  Venice?  16th century?  Masked balls and servants galore.  Where else would a vampire be hanging out?

The skeleton is believed to have been killed during the same plague epidemic that killed Venice’s famous Titian. vampire Perhaps he even knew her.  Wouldn’t it be just like a talented painter to hang out with a vampire.  Anyway, staking vampires wasn’t enough (everybody who’s anybody knows a vampire can pull a stake out of its chest) so they stuck a brick in its mouth too.  For starvation purposes.  Can’t suck blood if your canines have been broken and there’s a brick lodged into the back of your throat.

Now the scientists call bullcrap and think the people of Venice were a superstitious, ignorant bunch, but you and I know better, don’t we?  Vampire love things like oh, I don’t know, the Italian Renaissance.  In fact, some of our most brilliant artists were probably vampires.  I’ve included for your viewing pleasure one of Titian’s famous paintings.  It’s of Judith and is said to be painted from courtesan models, but I think we can safely hazard a guess that this might be a vampire.  Look how she’s holding the man and looking away… it’s because she’s hungry.  Nothing like having to stop sucking out someone’s blood before they’re totally dry to leave a taste of wanting more.  She fed on him, it’s as simple as that.  Poor guy.  Never even knew what hit him.

titian

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