Yesterday my blog was very oom-shaka-laka so today we’re going to talk about what bugs us, shall we? I was on the phone the other day with a friend of mine who told me about a birthday dinner she recently went to. Now I love birthdays, but at the end of the night this birthday dinner cost about $200. That figure doesn’t include the gift she had brought. Ouch. What ever happened to birthday parties where we pinned the tail on the donkey and left with a bag of jelly beans?
Another peeve – Sam and I were traveling (as we do) and had just gotten to security. We took off our shoes, our belts, our sweaters, our watches and our matching gold medallion bling necklaces. (word) We put our laptops in separate bins and our toiletries in plastic baggies. Through the metal detector (no beeps for us) we hurried to the conveyor belt to reclaim our possessions. As we grabbed our belongs as fast as we could, simultaneously trying to put on our shoes and hold up our trousers, the man behind us got snarky. “First time flying?” He asked. I guess we weren’t moving quickly enough for him. Of course, me being me, my eyes grew round and my heart fluttered at his rude attack. Had I been not me (and thus faster on my feet) my rejoinder would’ve gone something like this:
Him: “First time flying?”
Me: :”First time being an asshole?”
(Actually, this is a terrible response because of course it’s not his first time, he’s a jerk. I still need to work on this one…)
A pout – What about when you go to the movie theater, the show’s about to start (you’re very excited), and someone is sitting in your seats. (In LA we have assigned seats at the movies.) You show the people your tickets, which clearly state that they’re in the wrong seats, but then they ask you to move. No! I want to sit where I chose to sit. Somehow I end up coming off as the pain in the rear-end, high maintenance putana How does this make sense?
Last one, the big kahuna – When people throw their garbage in the street. Oh this makes me want to attack like an anorexic T-rex. You know how it goes. You’re walking (or driving) behind someone and out of nowhere, they just throw their hamburger wrapper/ soda can/ empty ice cream cup onto the ground like the world is their personal garbage can. I’ve tried citizen’s arrest, I’ve tried yelling, I’ve even tried following them home with their garbage and leaving it on their front step, but stupid is as stupid does and their parents should’ve taught them better.
So today I leave you with one final word of peeve and pout. DO NOT leave your dog in the car with the windows rolled up. I will leave a note on your dashboard and a brick through your front seat window.