Once upon a time in Welcomb, Texas there lived a family of three. Sally Mae, age 30, loved to water ski, knit sweaters for poor children in Africa, and give speeches to mill workers. Dan, age 35, was originally from Utah, but loved the oppressive heat and plethora of illegal aliens he found in Welcomb. Dan had aspirations beyond just selling tires at ‘Dan The Man’s Tire Emporium’ and would read books late into the night. Sometimes he would even register for an online course through the local university where he was proud to admit, he always got A’s. Barb, age 31, was an exotic dancer at heart, but a school teacher by trade. She pumped her passion for dancing, poles, and skimpy clothing into her lessons. Everyone at the local grade school thought she was the best.
One day Dan decided that enough was enough. He had been watching a particularly exasperating interview with Katie Couric and a certain vice presidential candidate. “Heck.” He thought. “Even my Sally Mae knows more than this nutterball.” He talked it over with both of his wives and they agreed. It was time for America to get jiggy with polygamy.
Barb began having the kids at school make signs:
THREE’S BETTER THAN TWO!
DAN, BARB, AND SALLY MAE RAZZY FOR PRESIDENT!
Sally Mae got into the act too and began traveling around Welcomb in a truck with a loud speaker on top. If anyone could talk without pause, it was Sally Mae. To be continued…