My friend, Natalie shared with me a great website yesterday. It’s NASA’s ‘Picture of the Day’ site: http://antwrp.gsfc.nasa.gov/apod/archivepix.html
Today’s picture is titled ‘The Case of the Very Dusty Binary Star,’ which totally sounds like a Nancy Drew novel. The picture however, shows two massive, planet-sized objects colliding into one another – smashing together like a head-on collision and crumbling into nothing but dust. Like the wreckage of an 18-wheeler driving into a Prius, there’s not much left. Of course, this got me to thinking about a little drama I had the other day.
Almost a year ago a woman I considered a good friend and who I loved, broke up with me. It was heartbreaking and it’s taken me a long time to let go. On Tuesday I was invited to a party that sounded like a real blast, but I was afraid to go for fear of bumping into my ex-friend. Why? Because when worlds collide it’s never pretty – something always gets smashed up. In this case, I worried that it would be me. I knew that if she was there (and she probably was) I would be excited to see her. I would want to walk up and say hello, catch up with her, find out how she’s doing and what she’s up to. I guess the point is, although our friendship didn’t pan out, I do still care. My concern was that she wouldn’t play by the same rules. As my girlfriend Krista wisely pointed out, “The rest of us try to behave like adults and she’s still acting like we’re back in high school.”
I wish that when worlds collided it could be more of a bump than an explosion of force and destruction. I wish that politeness and curiosity could win over ego and will. I wish that we had the wherewithal to step into the other person’s shoes for that moment of impact – to have the strength to put our most authentic and caring self into the crash. It wouldn’t be such a crash then, would it? More like two individuals who recognize that they’re connected by the universe (hence the running into one another) and that there’s nothing to gain by being ugly.
Think of what this attitude would mean when we collide with ex-lovers, ex-bosses, ex-bad habits, and ex-disappointments and hurts. A simple hello, maybe a smile or a nod of the head in recognition of the past – no drama, no insecurity, no hate. No obsessing over who said what or guilt over why in the heck did I say that. We could leave ‘The Case of the Very Dusty Binary Star’ to Nancy Drew and the planets.
Note: this is a picture of galaxies joining. The NASA collision photo was copyrighted so I couldn’t ‘borrow’ it. This picture looks a lava lamp that got out of the lamp to me, but what do I know. I’m just a blogger without a book deal.