Traveling for 22hours has left me feeling like a crack monkey. If you don’t know what this is, let me paint you a picture. I don’t know what day it is, what time it is or where my toothbrush is. People call me and all I have the energy to do is to grunt back at them like an ape. I can’t sleep because my body is totally discombobulated and so I’ve been sitting on my sofa watching the Bachelorette (go, Jason, go!) for so many hours I’m collecting dust.
That being said, if you don’t feel like shelling out money for a massage and a room at the Ritz, I highly recommend this remedy. Although there’s no room service, I’m feeling comfortably numbed and my sidekick, Kiki Wonder is digging having me all to herself. Plus, she understands ape. Ooo–ooo–ooo.
I need to get back to doing nothing and this is something so I’ll leave you with my word of the day:
Serving to relieve pain; soothing. Anything that calms, comforts, or soothes.
Anodyne. Watching men compete to get married is the perfect anodyne for feeling like a jetlagged crack monkey because it kills your brain cells and allows you to ignore the pile of dirty clothes in the middle of the living room, the stack of bills on the kitchen table, and the empty refrigerator that smells funny, but not in a good way. Anodyne.
P.S. Here’s some more pictures from my trip for you all to enjoy…and by enjoy I mean feel consumed with envy.
And last but definitely not least, me becoming a crack monkey…Ooo–ooo–ooo.