Dear Stalkers,
This page is for you. I’m not thin enough or tall enough to look like Heidi Klum – so go away. I’m not talented enough or famous enough to remind you of Madonna – so go away. I don’t have bags of money hidden under my bed and I don’t appreciate strangers watching me as I shower – so go away. My favorite color is not fresh blood on the door and I don’t like stabbed cockroaches for breakfast. Also, I’m an avid reader, but any letters I get made from letters cut out of a magazine like they do in ransom notes – they’re going straight into the trash.
Don’t make me hire a bodyguard. Don’t make me buy a gun. If you can obey these rules as I’ve stated them, then we’ll get along just fine. Oh, and no stealing stuff out of my garbage cans. If I threw it away it wasn’t because deep-down I wanted you to fish it out and smell it…just leave it alone.
Yours Warmly, Sara Morris
3 Comments
October 20, 2008 at 9:34 pm
Sara,
Browsing your blog and wishing I could hop on a plane and escape to be with you. You are so fresh. You don’t seem like you have changed at all since H.S.
Best of luck and I am looking into your novels…
Katie
August 18, 2009 at 9:34 am
Not changing since HS is a good thing?!!?
January 15, 2009 at 10:26 am
I feel so badly for you that your only stalker is some girl you knew in High School. If I wasn’t so busy being happily married, raising a child and another on the way I would stalk you myself. Perhaps our next family vacation can be a family stalk Sara Morris trip? While you may not be for everyone, there must be one single guy out there that enjoys an insanely deep woman with an unhealthy infatuation for her dog. Just the hip hop video alone should have brought you at least one stalker. I am a latecomer to you blog and I am apperently your biggest and only fan. While I can’t classify myself as a stalker, I will do my best to make you feel desired. Keep up the good work and keep the hip hop videos coming.
You are one special kind of lunatic. All the best,
your number one fan..