So I’ve been writing and writing and writing and gosh-dammit, I want some instant gratification! Not that I don’t love writing and not that I don’t totally go crazy everytime I check my readership numbers (I do…I’m addicted), but how about a check in the mail people? Hello, publishers? Are you listening to me? I’m [...]
Entries from July 2008
July 31, 2008
The Jerry Sprigger Show
Jerry: Why are you here today, Sara?
Sara: I’m going crazy and it’s not my fault.
Jerry: Not your fault? How’s that?
Sara: Well Jerry, I’m not one to point fingers, but Sam, my boyfriend is slowly driving me to an early grave.
Jerry: But I thought you just said you were going crazy. Could this be an illusion? [...]
July 30, 2008
A lawyer walks into a bar…
Everyone has a joke about a lawyer, a priest, a rabbi or a blonde. All three have much fodder for poking fun at, I get it. The joke I’m thinking of however, is bitter-sweet.
To protect the innocent I’ll name my friend, Gloria. Gloria left Los Angeles almost a month ago for the exciting hills of [...]
July 29, 2008
The Best Intentions
Yesterday I met a woman who rented an apartment in Santa Monica so she could live near the beach…but she never goes to the beach. She bought a convertible to enjoy the California sunshine…but she doesn’t put the top down. And this got me to thinking. How many things do we plan on doing that [...]
July 26, 2008
Gotta Run, Gotta Run!
Good Morning, Everyone!
Good Morning, Ms. Morris.
Today you’ll get some free time to diddle about on your own… I’m rushing out the door to get ready for a fabulous day and there’s just no time to write!
Brunch at the Bel Air Hotel, facials at Kate Summerville, cocktails with friends moving to Nashville, and dinner at [...]
July 25, 2008
Fun, A Four-Letter Word
Platform heels – check
White, summer dress – check
Fab, eccentric accessories – check
Neat, combed hair – no check (still working on that one)
Dressed up and feeling good, Sam and I drove into Westwood last night, land of co-eds and all things hip. We were there to see The Afternoons play at The Hammer Museum. We arrived [...]
July 24, 2008
Forrest Gump
Yesterday I started walking and never stopped. I think I’ve got some kind of Toxic Shock Syndrome from being in Europe. Los Angeles is not, I repeat not a walking city and I must of walked at least 10 miles yesterday. The thing is, I like walking – it’s probably my favorite part of being [...]
July 23, 2008
I’m Driving Myself Crazy
I’m so uninterested in mopping my hardwood floors, that these are the things I did yesterday to be “too busy” to do it:
I took a nap.
Kiki and I walked to Petco to get some snacks. (1 hour roundtrip)
I went to a yoga class. This didn’t turn out well due to my lingering Scottish cough. I [...]
July 22, 2008
Politically Incorrect
When I was growing up, the families who had housekeepers were the same families where dad was a famous plastic surgeon and mom kept busy redecorating the third TV room. Floor boards were dust-free, silver was polished, and everybody had a hot dinner thanks to the daily appearance of dear, old ___________.
Well I’m not [...]
July 21, 2008
There’s no news like good gnus.
Monday, July 21st…mark your calendars people. I’m off of my sofa and back in the driver’s seat! Granted, I have a sore throat, a cough, and a raspy voice that sounds like a transvestite sex-phone operator’s, but I’m not worried about that. And yes it’s true, Kiki and I were viciously attacked by a brigade [...]
